Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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