My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i believe in u and ur pee
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".