Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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  (513): Oh no, it isn't official until she poops. http://tfl.nu/gc75
  Replies (20) Good night (860) Bad night (3602)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
  Replies (20) Good night (1454) Bad night (4559)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back

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  (303): True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back http://tfl.nu/1qlt
  Replies (16) Good night (7432) Bad night (1080)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

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  (617): We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well. http://tfl.nu/7kjf
  Replies (14) Good night (6312) Bad night (1035)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

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  (309): It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise. http://tfl.nu/xykk
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (1264)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.

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  (250): I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not. (250): A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop. http://tfl.nu/aiao
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (835)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first

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  (412): I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first http://tfl.nu/vbea
  Replies (4) Good night (1583) Bad night (643)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.

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  (303): He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door. http://tfl.nu/ylk0
  Replies (3) Good night (1559) Bad night (629)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead

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  (850): My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead http://tfl.nu/ahqq
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (1285)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.

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  (401): I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car. http://tfl.nu/oyb7
  Replies (3) Good night (366) Bad night (910)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?

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  (352): But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door? http://tfl.nu/ozrv
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (454)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.

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  (216): Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me. http://tfl.nu/fau7
  Replies (3) Good night (1234) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  its 2pm. u awake yet?

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.

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  (406): its 2pm. u awake yet? (1-406): ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face. http://tfl.nu/0qbj
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET

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  (203): YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET http://tfl.nu/hmex
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (388)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds

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  (+44): So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds http://tfl.nu/u27a
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (240)

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