Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.