Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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