I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need a beard to bite.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
