everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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