I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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