this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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