You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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