It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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