just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize