Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
