She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
