I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
