Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
