We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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