She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
