I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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