Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
