Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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