Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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