is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
