This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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