I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
