I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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