We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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