Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize