i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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