sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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