omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
