Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
