WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
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