she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
