This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
