So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
