HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
