I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
