It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
