I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
