ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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