is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
