Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize