my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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