Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
