Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
