I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Randomize
