my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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