Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
