The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
