They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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