If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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