why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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