just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
