is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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