I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I met the friendliest cop last night
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
