hell yes lets make some ravioli
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
