And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ketchup is God's man juice
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
