Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize