Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
