She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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