How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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