I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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