The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize