you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
