How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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