yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize