It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
