I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
whose parrot is this?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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