piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
