omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
