He kissed a someone with a penis
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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