At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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