Only a mothe r could love this liver
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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